What the?
by Chesra Talasei
Summary: What happens if the Sanzoikkou turn into girls women? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!
1. Default Chapter

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter I: The Curse  
  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
It was sizzling hot that April day. Sanzo groaned, feeling worse. It was hot. Very hot.  
  
"Sanzo, hara hetta!" Goku groaned that very hot day, annoying Sanzo more than ever. It's so hot, Sanzo thought, irritated. Does he have to add to my growing problems? I prefer rain than this heat.  
  
"Urusai!" Sanzo's usual reply went, and the whack of the fan was heard miles away.  
  
"Itai!"  
  
"Maa, maa, let's stop fighting." Hakkai smiled, driving the jeep.  
  
"Bakasaru, you know better than saying that to Sanzo," Gojyo commented, but the little monkey did not hear him.  
  
"Sanzo, hara hetta! Hara hetta!" Goku started chanting, as Sanzo's veins started to pop. Gojyo and Hakkai, who were constantly warned of this act, began to edge away. "Hara het-" Poor Goku was never able to finish his chant, for Sanzo had exploded.  
  
"BAKASARU! URUSAI! I'LL KILL YOU!" Sanzo screamed, and started hitting him with his fan.  
  
Goku was crying on Gojyo, who was giving a lecture on "never say hara hetta on Sanzo when you already said it fifteen times the past day or else" and Sanzo was still pissed off. Hakkai was smiling like a maniac. The group was still the same old group and the same little fight they had was common nowadays.  
  
"Quit it, you guys," Hakkai said. "Now, this little fight over.." He stopped the jeep, jerking the three companions. "Shall we begin the second one?" The group had not realized that a hundred demons had surrounded them until now.  
  
"Sounds good," Goku said, summoning his nyoibou.  
  
"Another excerise?" Gojyo said, grinning. "Who'll have the first youkai?"  
  
Sanzo had already shot ten demons with his gun. "Me."  
  
"Sanzo, that's not fair," Goku whined, grinning himself. He took care of fifty demons in a minute. "I should've had the first one."  
  
Hakkai and Gojyo took care of the rest of the demons. Finally, it was only the leader left.  
  
"Ha. The day you kill me is when pigs fly!" The youkai leader roared. He attacked Gojyo and surprisingly, Gojyo got hurt in the side of his stomach.  
  
"He's no ordinary youkai," Gojyo said, wincing in pain. "He's stronger." The demon hurt each of them in the side of their stomach.  
  
"No matter how strong he is," Sanzo said, gritting his teeth at his injury, his gun pointing to the youkai, "he'll die!" He shot the demon on the chest. The demon writhed in pain, screaming. The strange thing was that he wasn't disappearing like most youkai.  
  
"Like I said," The youkai leader said, wincing. "The day you kill me is when pigs fly!"  
  
"Is that a pig flying?" Goku suddenly said, amazed. The Sanzo-ikkou looked up to see a pig sailing up in the air, making oinking sounds.  
  
The entire group was shocked. Hakkai was first to recover.  
  
"Goodbye, then," Hakkai said. "That's a pig flying." He was having a hard time believing it himself.  
  
"No way!" The youkai said desperately. "They can't fly!" He stood up, wincing.  
  
"Well..with us nothing's impossible," Sanzo said, recovering from the incident himself, lighting a cigarette. "This should finish you off." He used his sutra and the demon screamed. Loud.  
  
"He was right," Goku said in awe. "Pigs will fly when he die. And what I said rhymes!" Goku started danced, overjoyed at his rhyme. Hakkai and Gojyo just shook their heads. Sanzo just looked pissed off.  
  
The demon smiled weakly. "Though I'm dying, the pain I've brought to you..it will give you problems unbelievable. Worse than flying pigs.." The demon disappeared.  
  
"He means this?" Hakkai questioned, looking at the identical injuries the four had. "Weird. He attacked us in all the same place, all in the left side."  
  
"Ch." Sanzo looked irritable again. "Now we've finished him, let's continue this completely meaningless trip."  
  
Soon the group reached a forest and was caught by nightfall. "Let's camp here," Hakkai suggested. "We'll reach a town in a few days."  
  
"Okay," Sanzo agreed. "You guys stay away from my side of the tent."  
  
"Sanzo'll hog the tent again!" Goku whined, but Sanzo didn't pay attention to him. He entered the tent a chose the farthest side, guaranteeing privacy for the night. He left the three companions to fit in the side left for them while he started putting a curtain-like thing to cover his part of the tent.  
  
"I'll be back in a few minutes," Sanzo said. "Hakkai, when I come back, heal my wound." He disappeared.  
  
"Sheesh," Gojyo said, sitting on a tree stump. "That corrupt monk is so selfish."  
  
"Now, Gojyo-sama," Hakkai said cheerfully. "We shouldn't fight. Now, I'd better heal these wounds of ours."  
  
Hakkai, no matter how he did it, was not able to heal the wound. This left the four in wonder.  
  
"At least it doesn't hurt anymore," Hakkai said. "But we should watch out for these wounds. Ok?"  
  
"Ok," the three replied.  
  
"Let's eat now!" Gojyo groaned. "I'm really hungry!"  
  
Goku smiled. "I'll cook! I want to try."  
  
"I won't be eating, then," Sanzo said briskly and disappeared again. Gojyo and Hakkai laughed.  
  
"You're so mean, Sanzo!" Goku said angrily with a huff. He cooked something up while Gojyo and Hakkai sat on the floor.  
  
"Are you sure we won't die, bakasaru?" Gojyo asked teasingly.  
  
"If you don't want to eat, then don't," Goku retorted.  
  
"Maa, maa, let's stop fighting," Hakkai said. Then his eyes turned serious. He bent low, making sure Goku could not hear him.  
  
"Gojyo, the wound, I remember something about it. I think there was a demon, if he hurts you in the left side of the stomach, that could change your.."  
  
"Your what?" Gojyo asked.  
  
"I can't remember," Hakkai said, scratching his head. Gojyo fell, anime- style.  
  
"Well, we can expect that when we wake up something's different," Gojyo said. "Or that would be caused by the bakasaru's cooking."  
  
Goku ignored him and laid down on a small table four plates with something. It looked gruesome, there was something that looked like a meat bun only it looked burned and some other stuff the two companions were unable to identify. There was something that looked like black worms. And some vegetables, that were different in color. One thing was for sure: They will die early. Hakkai guessed the long strands were noodles, unfortunately they were very black. Gojyo looked sick.  
  
"Er.Goku, is this dinner?" Hakkai asked hesitantly.  
  
"YEAH!" Goku said happily.  
  
"You're eating two plates?" Gojyo said, staring at the fourth plate. He whispered to Hakkai, "The bakasaru'll die early. One plate barely looks edible and he's planning to eat two?"  
  
"Iie." Goku smiled. "Sanzo, come on, let's eat!" Goku called.  
  
"I'll die." Came the reply.  
  
"You won't! Please, just try!"  
  
Sanzo went out of his "room" and took one look at the food and he looked as if he would puke.  
  
Goku smiled and handed the plates to his companions. "Dig in, you guys!"  
  
Sanzo hesitantly bit on one of the weird food and turned green. Sickly green. "I'm full," Sanzo said suddenly. He ran to his "room."  
  
"See?" Goku said proudly.  
  
"Eh?" Gojyo and Hakkai said, surprised.  
  
"One bite and Sanzo's already full! You guys, why don't you eat too?"  
  
The two bit on the food and turned green too. "Goku, I'll just get some water." Hakkai returned with two buckets, and he and Gojyo drank steadily.  
  
"I'm full!" The two said.  
  
"There's so much left," Goku said. "I guess this is sort of a miracle food that makes you full quick. I'd better eat now!" He bit on the food, specifically one of the meat buns, and he turned green himself. "It's...different," he said after a while. "Well, I'd better dispose it." He grabbed the four plates and threw them away.  
  
"Thank God," Hakkai and Gojyo breathed.  
  
The three were left to find a comfortable spot in the tent. Hakkai gave then curtain-like things so they can have privacy. Gojyo chose the left side, Hakkai chose right, and Goku was left with no choice but the middle.  
  
NEXT DAY...  
  
(GOJYO POV)  
  
I had woken up. It wasn't much fun, the ground was rocky. Ugh. I was also in a bad mood because of the saru's terrible cooking. I'd die early if he was always cooking. I stood up and decided to look at the mirror.  
  
"What the?" I said, staring at myself. Or, should I say, a red-haired woman. Her hair was up to her waist, her eyes were red and her clothes.her clothes were my clothes, but they seemed bigger for me. Or bigger for the girl. "But I'm not a girl!" I said, feeling panicked. "How could this happen!"  
  
Before I knew it, I was screaming like a maniac.  
  
(HAKKAI POV)  
  
I am in woman's body. Okay. Be calm. It's just a dream. No, a nightmare. A very bad nightmare. "What the.?" I said, confused. My voice.. It was different. I sounded like a girl. "But I'm not.a girl!" I kept telling myself. "There has to be a very good reason."  
  
I looked at myself closely. I had long brown hair and green eyes. I look like my girl version. A voice suddenly screamed. It was an unfamiliar voice, also a girl's.  
  
I suddenly panicked and started screaming myself, searching for the voice. I must find the origin of it, I thought.  
  
(GOKU POV)  
  
"Hakkai and Gojyo knows better than making a racket in the morning," I grumbled. Hakkai's and Gojyo's screams could be heard fifty miles away. Weird, though, their voices sounded strange. They must have a cold. Why did I think it was Hakkai and Gojyo screaming? Because I doubt Sanzo will ever scream and I'm not screaming now, so our last two companions must be it. Were they still mad at what I cooked? Sheesh, so it tasted terrible, at least I tried to cook for them. Hmph. Ungrateful people.  
  
"That's not a good way of waking me up!" I yelled. Suddenly I stopped. Why did..why did a girl say those words? There's no females in this tent. Unless..  
  
"Sanzo?" I said, feeling frightened and suddenly a thought hit me. That was me talking. The girl's voice was mine. No. That was...that was not my voice. What the?  
  
I looked at myself no longer a short boy with messy brown hair and golden eyes, but a shorter girl with long brown hair and sparkling golden eyes.  
  
I'm girl, my mind yelled. "AAAAHHHHH!" Before I knew it, I myself was joining the screams.  
  
(SANZO POV)  
  
God. First Gojyo yells, then Hakkai yells, then Goku yells?  
  
Seesh. If they were desperate to wake me up, they should have just thrown a bucket of cold water at me instead. I murmured some curse words. Surprisingly, those three voices were a bit different from my companions' voices, but since it was only us here, I suspected it was them.  
  
"Urusai!" I complained. Suddenly I stopped. My voice sounds strange. Very strange.  
  
I looked at myself. "What the?" I said, shocked. In front of me was a blond girl with violet eyes staring at me. All I knew the next minute, I was screaming like the others.  
  
"Who is this girl?" I asked frantically, after regaining my composure. It was a blond girl with violet eyes staring back at me. She was about Goku's age. If the others see me like this..  
  
I suddenly bolted out of the tent.  
  
(HAKKAI)  
  
I found two strange girls in front of a mirror, both repeating "this cannot be true!"  
  
"What happened here?" I asked the two urgently. The two looked familiar. One looked like Gojyo and the other looked like Goku. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Goku!" The girl with brown hair and golden eyes said. She kept touching her hair. "This is just a bad dream, ne?"  
  
"Goku?" The red-haired woman and I exclaimed, shocked. "You are..Goku?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"I'm Gojyo," The red-haired said.  
  
"I'm Hakkai," I said.  
  
"What happened?" Goku said, frightened. "Why am I.why am I in a girl's body?"  
  
"First of all, where's Sanzo," Gojyo said. "What happened to him?" Suddenly his eyes widened. "He's in.."  
  
"Sanzo's also in a woman's body!" I finished. "And knowing Sanzo, he probably decided to hide himself than show as a girl."  
  
"Che." Gojyo grinned. "We'd better find him soon."  
  
The three of us searched the entire forest. Goku took west, I took east and Gojyo took north. The three of us met up in the tent, with no luck.  
  
"We haven't checked that lake yet," Goku said, pointing to a clearing.  
  
"Yeah, we haven't checked it because it's south," Gojyo said sarcastically.  
  
"Let's go," I decided. "If he isn't there, he probably got out of the forest."  
  
(SANZO POV)  
  
"NO NO NO!" I yelled, panicked. Suddenly I clamped my mouth. I panicked when I saw the three of them coming here. Now they'll know where I am.  
  
A movement behind me startled me. I turned around, expecting Hakkai.  
  
"Sanzo!" Hakkai suddenly said, smiling. His eyes widened. "Sanzo?" Hakkai was staring because I was now a girl of Goku's age with long blond hair and violet eyes.  
  
"Ichangedintoagirlthatididnotwantbutithappened," I grumbled. I looked up and saw that Hakkai was also a girl.  
  
"NANI?"  
  
Soon, Goku and Hakkai and Gojyo and I were explaining our bits, and I understood who was who.  
  
"I'm surprised at what happened, Sanzo," Goku said. "But how come you became younger?"  
  
"Yeah, I don't know either," I replied. "It would have been better if I was older."  
  
"Well, we understood who's who, but why did this happen to us?"  
  
(END OF POV)  
  
"I think this happened because of the demon," Hakkai said thoughtfully.  
  
"Well, duh," Sanzo said sarcastically. "Or Goku cooked was something dangerous and we all turned into women."  
  
"I didn't cook the food," Goku protested. The three companions glowered at him. "Okay, so I did. But I followed a recipe book!"  
  
"Did you check the title?" Gojyo said.  
  
"Come on, stop joking around," Hakkai said. "This must be the curse of that demon. According to this book I read, we must reverse this curse in a month or. . . "  
  
"Or what?" The three asked.  
  
"We'll stay like this forever."  
  
"NANI!!" 


	2. Chapter II: The Cure

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter II: The Cure  
  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"So how do we reverse it?" Sanzo asked edgily.  
  
"I heard there are two ways. One way is to find the demon who put this curse on you and make him undo it," Hakkai replied.  
  
"Well, Sanzo killed the demon already so that's not an option," Gojyo said, glaring at Sanzo.  
  
"As if he'd agree to undo it," Sanzo countered angrily, eyes dark.  
  
"Sanzo's right," Goku said smartly. The three looked at him in surprise.  
  
"Did your brain get bigger, saru?" Gojyo asked, shocked.  
  
"Well, women's brains are known to be a bit bigger than men," Hakkai said. "So in girl form Goku is smarter."  
  
"Good," Sanzo said. "Then this body isn't just all disadvantages."  
  
"What's the other option, Hakkai?" Goku asked.  
  
"Find the clan members of this demon and ask them to reverse it."  
  
"That's all!?" Sanzo exclaimed.  
  
"So far," Hakkai replied. The four looked at each helplessly.  
  
"Who knows if we wiped out their clan already," Gojyo muttered. "With all the youkai we've killed, who knows."  
  
"I have another problem," Goku cut in. "What are we going to wear? This body is smaller than my own, and my clothes are really baggy. And since Sanzo, er, became younger, his clothes are practically an adult size."  
  
The three looked at him again.  
  
"I'm not used to the smart Goku," Sanzo admitted. "But he's right. What are we going to wear?"  
  
"Well, maybe we can find someone who can reverse this. Let's travel for the while. When we see a town lets buy clothes."  
  
When the four arrived in a town, they went inside a clothes shop. The saleslady eyed them, because they were dressed so. . . strange.  
  
"There are some clothes in the rack," The woman said eyeing them strangely. "Have you lost your clothes and only have men's clothes left?"  
  
Gojyo grinned at her. "Something like that. But will we have a da-" Hakkai poked him. Gojyo realized he was a 'woman' now. He groaned.  
  
"You were saying?" She inquired.  
  
"Nothing," Goku rescued Gojyo. "We were looking for dance shoes."  
  
"Oh," the woman said, smiling at him. "Dancers? Sorry, but we're out of stock of dance shoes."  
  
"That's okay," Sanzo said quickly. "We'll just get some clothes and get out of here."  
  
The four looked for clothes. Hakkai chose a yellow long-sleeved sweater and a plain brown skirt. He smiled fondly, remembering Kanna. Glancing at his long brown hair, he resolved to tie it in a braid, just like Kanna's.  
  
Gjyo chose a long tight dress that showed of her curves. He frowned at it. "Hakkai, does this look good on me?" Hakkai looked at the dress.  
  
"It's your style," Hakkai said, smiling. "But you might get lots of admirers that way." Gojyo sighed but decided to wear it. Hakkai chuckled.  
  
Sanzo, being a whole lot younger, chose a simple yellow kimono that sort of reminded him of his old clothes. He smiled at it and tried it on. It fitted perfectly and made him looked very innocent. He flicked away his long hair happily, deciding that being a girl wasn't so bad anyway.  
  
Goku chose a long blue dress that made him look very kawaii (^__^). The four of them paid and went away. Gojyo kept on complaining but Goku, surprisingly, shut him up.  
  
"You keep quiet," he had said. "You chose it and you should stop complaining."  
  
Goku wasn't that 'hara hetta ish' that day, but the four decided to eat, anyway. They got to a restaurant soon.  
  
"Hey, babes!" The men in the place began hooting and whistling. Both Gojyo and Sanzo were immediately annoyed at them.  
  
"Urusai, baka!" Sanzo yelled. He grabbed his gun and pointed it at one man. The people began backing away.  
  
"Nice one," Goku commented. The three of them, once again, were shocked.  
  
"I still can't get to the smart Goku," Gojyo whispered to Hakkai.  
  
One man looked at Sanzo. He was rather tall, and with Sanzo's height, he looked like a total giant. "Who d'you think you are, gaki?"  
  
Even though the guy was practically two feet higher than him, Sanzo just looked at him as he usually did. "I think I know who I'm dealing with, baka!"  
  
The guy turned red. His veins popping, the irritated man grabbed Sanzo by the neck. "Just because you're a little girl means I'll go easy on you!"  
  
Sanzo kicked the guy. "Che. I thought you were strong." The guy had a big wound in the stomach where Sanzo kicked him.  
  
"Teme," He growled. "I'll kill you!"  
  
Goku expertly blocked off the guy and threw him against the wall. "Let's get out of here," Goku muttered, motioning for the door.  
  
The three agreed and they walked away. The guy yelled, "Kisama! Come back here, gaki!" At that Sanzo lost his temper and shot the guy.  
  
BANG!!!!  
  
Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo winced.  
  
SANZO  
  
"He deserved to die," I said an hour later. We were back on the road, now on a forest again.  
  
"Forget it, Sanzo," Hakkai said. "I'm just glad you didn't kill anyone." I glared at Hakkai. He now had his hair in a fat braid and was smiling.  
  
"I absolutely hate being a girl," Gojyo moaned for the fiftieth time of that day. I really wanted to shoot him. Really wanted to.  
  
"Sanzo, do you feel something strange?" Goku asked a few minutes later. I turned to look at the brown-haired girl.  
  
"Iie," I replied, trying to feel the air around me. It was soothing and calm, but there seemed to be a mysterious feeling that I couldn't put my finger on. I knew it very well, I just couldn't remember.  
  
"Well, I feel there's youkai."  
  
"YOUKAI!" The three of us exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, but the youkai's different," Goku said, shivering. "There's-"  
  
Suddenly a girl ran into our path, and almost got hit by Hakuryu.  
  
"Watch where you're going!" The girl yelled. She glared at us.  
  
"You watch were you're going," Gojyo said.  
  
"Leave her alone, Gojyo," I said sharply. I turned to her. "We'd better get going. Where are you going, maybe we can give you a lift." I caught myself. Why was I suddenly so nice? Must be part of being a girl.  
  
"Yuki-chan?" The girl suddenly said. She smiled and suddenly hugged me. "Oh, Yuki-chan, I was looking for you!"  
  
"I'm not Yuki," I said, trying to push her away.  
  
"You're... You're not?" The girl stared at me, bewildered. After a few minutes, she sighed. "Yes, you're not Yuki. My name is Sakura. My sister, Yuki, is missing. She's a potion mixer, but she disappeared three days ago. I'm afraid youkai took her."  
  
"Potion mixer?" Hakkai said slowly, as if he was having a hard time understanding Sakura.  
  
"Yeah, her potions are great. They can take off curses, spells, anything. She's wonderful."  
  
"Did you say she can take off curses?" Goku said excitedly. "We're under a curse right now, we used to be guys but we were turned into girls. Can she help us?"  
  
"If we can find her," Sakura said sadly. She smiled weakly. "You see, Yuki and I are youkai."  
  
"But you can stay conscious?" I asked, shocked. "How can you?"  
  
"Yes, we can, Yuki's potion did that. In fact, Gyokumen Kyushu-" Sakura made a face, "-asked us to join her group in reviving Gyumao. She said Yuki's potions and my fighting are a big plus to them. But we didn't want it. We're living peacefully in this forest. Gyokumen Kyushu wouldn't leave us alone, pursuing us. At one point we considered joining her because most of our ningen neighbors were constantly being harassed because of us. But Yuki came up with something better."  
  
"What was it?" Gojyo asked curiously.  
  
"She made our house invisible," Sakura answered. "Youkai pursued us everywhere, but they didn't find us. Yuki and I were very careful when going out. We lived happily until one Yuki went to get some herbs. She's been missing for one week." She sighed sadly. "I've been searching everyday. You see, Yuki's a great potion mixer but not exactly a fighter. I'm more of that. Yuki's defenseless."  
  
"If we find her, can she help reverse the spell?" I asked Sakura.  
  
"She'll be more than happy, and so will I," Sakura replied. "Why don't you guys go to my house now and we'll talk there."  
  
Meanwhile, in the West, Gyokumen Kyushu was looking at a girl named Yuki.  
  
"Why don't you help me, Yuki-sama?" Gyokumen Kyushu purred, smiling happily. She glanced at the tied up girl, feeling triumphant.  
  
"NEVER!" Yuki yelled so loud, Kougaiji and his group ran to Gyokumen Kyushu to see if she was in trouble. They glanced at the hostage. They never saw her before, but she distinctly looked like a younger female version of Sanzo.  
  
"Why not?" she asked, not giving up.  
  
"I'll never help with this Gyumao baloney!" Yuki yelled. "I want to live peacefully with humans!"  
  
"You're betraying the demons, Yuki-sama?" Gyokumen Kyushu spat out. "I'm offering you something wonderful, girl! You should be overjoyed!"  
  
"I won't help you! My potions are supposed to bring happiness, not terror!"  
  
"What if I kill your sister, Sakura?" Gyokumen said wickedly. "I'll send my most trained assasins. One girl cannot fight them alone, don't you think?"  
  
Yuki looked terrified.  
  
"If you agree to help me, I'll even let you marry Kougaiji," Gyokumen Kyushu bribed.  
  
Kougaiji blushed. His teammates started teasing him, mainly his sister and best friend. Yaone looked shocked.  
  
"I will never help you. . . you witch!" Yuki spat out.  
  
"You will be punished, then!" the fox glared evilly at her. "If it means forcing your death, girl!" 


	3. Chapter III: Some things boys just don't...

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter III: Some things boys just don't understand  
  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
HAKKAI  
  
"I have a little problem, Sanzo," Goku said nervously. We were in Sakura's house. Sakura had gone out to find us some food.  
  
"What is it, Goku?" Sanzo asked. We looked at Goku curiously.  
  
"I mean, I don't mean to sound malicious, but about the taking a bath, and doing other private stuff," Goku coughed, blushing.  
  
At this the four of us blushed, and Sanzo glared at Goku. "How am I supposed to know?"  
  
"Maybe we can ask Sakura-chan about it," I said, trying to lighten up the group.  
  
"Sure, and then she'll send us packing," Gojyo said sarcastically. "It's bad enough to get used to these girls' clothes, but those other stuff?" Gojyo reddened a bit, but continued. "We're going to ask a girl? Isn't that. . . a bit embarrassing?"  
  
"What's a bit embarrassing?" Sakura asked, entering the house. She was carrying four big brown paper bags. "Why don't you eat food for the while before your problems."  
  
"Arigatou," I said, smiling. "Come on, minna-san, we'll tackle the problem when we're full." The four heaved themselves up and lapped up the food Sakura brought.  
  
"Anou, Sakura-chan, we have a problem," Goku said, blushing. "It's about. . . "  
  
"Don't tell me," Sakura said, smiling. "The private stuff of the girls?" At that we all blushed again. "The things that men don't understand?"  
  
"Hai," Sanzo said, looking at his shoes. "So, what do we, ehm, do?"  
  
"It's pretty natural," Sakura replied, smiling at Sanzo. "I suppose I have to teach you first-hand, but I think you wouldn't like, ehm, exposing your body to a female like me."  
  
Gojyo giggled girlishly a bit at that, and that sent Goku and me in laughter. Seeing Gojyo laugh like a girl was priceless. Even Sanzo smiled, though rather tightly.  
  
"I think that taking your daily baths would hardly be different, except you have to shampoo, and be more careful for your body. And I suggest, since you guys fight youkai, to always stay exercised. After all, it's known that a woman's body is weaker than a man's." Sakura cleared the table while talking. "And menstruation, you know, when you urinate blood, you have to have a napkin."  
  
"Napkin?" The four of us said together.  
  
"The one you use when eating?" Goku asked stupidly.  
  
Sakura laughed. "No, Goku-san. It's this." She showed us what she called a napkin. "And I think you guys aren't wearing bras. And you're wearing.ahem... briefs. I think it's more appropriate to wear panties, right?"  
  
The four of us blushed at that.  
  
"You're breasts. . . ahem, must be bigger. I've got some spares there," Sakura said. "And there's also stamina and strength and . . . "  
  
"Never mind," I said quickly. "I suppose we know enough." Sakura smiled thinly at that, and went to her room to get bras and panties.  
  
After she each threw us one, she explained how to wear it, and sent us to the bathroom.  
  
"Sanzo, I can't get it!" Goku complained. He had taken off his clothing, and was naked except for his underwear, which he wore immediately.  
  
All of us were naked except for the underwear, and all having the same problem except Sanzo. He slipped on the bra and casually pinned it on each other, as if he knew did since kindergarten.  
  
"Um, I hate to say this, but monk, help me out!" Gojyo yelled, since he couldn't make out which side was the front.  
  
Sanzo sighed, dressed up in his yellow kimono. "You guys do know if we don't reverse this in a month, we're dead." He helped Goku with his bra first, then helped me. Gojyo glared at him.  
  
"You're right," I said thoughtfully. "So we must find Sakura's sister right away." Sanzo finished helping us, and we started dressing up.  
  
"I guess we should look for her and keep an eye out for Kougaiji," Gojyo grumbled. "For all I know, my brother would be laughing his pants off the moment he sees me."  
  
"Hope we won't meet him, then," I told Gojyo as I braided my hair again. Sanzo's hair, which was past his waist, looked like absolutely natural for him. Goku's and Gojyo's hair, both shoulder length, was a bit of trouble for them.  
  
"Let's get out of here," Goku muttered and opened the bathroom door. We walked out and Sakura greeted us.  
  
"How was it?" she asked expectantly.  
  
"Fine," I replied, smiling. "Well, we'd better get your sister."  
  
"I have a question," Sakura began nervously. We eyed her. We never saw Sakura act nervous. She cleared her throat and blushed.  
  
"What is it?" Goku asked, trying to sound understanding.  
  
"Can I come?"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
In the West. . .  
  
"Kyaa!" yelled the potion mixer. She was thrown into a dungeon cell!  
  
"Don't worry, we'll find your little sister and you'll be together," Gyokumen told Yuki. "And you will regret for going against me!" She laughed cruelly.  
  
Yuki whimpered. As soon as the evil lady went away, Yaone suddenly reappeared in front of the cell. "Yuki-chan? Is that you?"  
  
Yuki's eyes shot up. It was her old friend, Yaone! They had both studied from the same master, and knew almost the same potions.  
  
"H-hai! Yaone-sama, what are you doing here, working for such an evil woman?"  
  
"I'm not working for her! I'm working for Kougaiji-sama. Watashi. . . "  
  
Yuki looked at her friend curiously. Then it hit her. "Have you gone against Professor Jayou's rules, Yaone?"  
  
"Gomen nasai," Yaone said sadly. "But I have. I was supposed to executed, but Kougaiji-sama saved me from that. That's a big debt. Even if I give him my life, it wouldn't pay him back all his kindness. Which is why I am serving him."  
  
"Sou ka," Yuki said slowly. "But if you had not performed a restricted potion, you wouldn't be punished."  
  
"I know," Yaone said, sighing. "This is such stupid Gyumao baloney, but who am I to go against it?" She sighed again.  
  
"I cannot believe my own best friend went against our Professor's rules," Yuki said. "I know you cannot free me. You are working for the fox's son. Please, just find my sister Sakura and warn her of the dangers ahead."  
  
"I would love to help!" Yaone said eagerly. "How does she look?"  
  
"She is very pale, with long blond hair and striking blue eyes. She's a one of a kind," Yuki said blissfully, remembering her sweet, lovable sister. "You will see her at the Invisible Forest. That's were we hid. Unfortunately, our house is invisible."  
  
Yaone sighed. This was a huge problem. Then it hit her. "I know! I know a potion that if you get a hair of a person related to the person you are looking for, you can easily track her! Do you have any other relatives?"  
  
"None that I know," Yuki replied. "Here, some hair." She pulled out a few hairs, and handed it to Yaone.  
  
"Arigatou," Yaone said gratefully. "I'll track her and tell you where she is." Yaone ran out, looking joyful.  
  
"I'll do everything to help you, Yuki-chan," Yaone said, and she ran to her room, eager to start her potion. 


	4. Chapter IV: To the West But unfortunatel...

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter IV: To the West - but unfortunately blocked  
  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
GOJYO  
  
I couldn't help feel uncomfortable with the women's, er, stuff. And Goku wasn't helping, either. Now he was becoming Lilin the second. Whining every second. My worst nightmares were confirmed.  
  
Sakura was very happy to join us. I don't get why Sanzo is so nice to her all of the sudden. Now we had to have space for her, so Goku and I were cramped together.  
  
Hakuryu suddenly screeched to a stop, sending both Goku and me in the air. We landed in front of the jeep.  
  
"Hakkai, drive safely!" I yelled at him.  
  
"Not when somebody suddenly appears in front of us," Hakkai replied. I looked up to see. . . great. My dear brother Dokukakuji and lovable Kougaiji and Lilin.  
  
"Yaone too busy to visit us, Kougaiji?" Sanzo sneered.  
  
"Well, I don't know what she's doing, but she is busy," Kougaiji replied. "By the way, who are you? Why are you in Sanzo-ikkou's jeep? And another thing, how come you know my name?"  
  
"I'm Gojyo," I told them. "Remember? Sha Gojyo?"  
  
Kougaiji and his men (girl) burst out laughing.  
  
"A new imposter?" My brother said, recovering from his laughs. "Look, I don't have time. I just need to find Sanzo-ikkou and get the sutra. So get out of the way!"  
  
"Shut up, Kougaiji," Goku said, glaring. "This should finish you off." He summoned his nyoibou.  
  
"Who are you?" Lilin said, shocked. "Isn't that the saru's nyoibou?"  
  
"I'm Goku, you baka!" Goku yelled, and he hit Kougaiji.  
  
KOUGAIJI  
  
Okay. Goku, the girl? I must be dreaming. Even my best friend and sister were shocked. I had managed to block Goku successfully, but the redhead attacked Dokukakuji and the brown-haired attacked Lilin. What surprised me was that there were two people left. I mean, it's only Sanzo, Goku, Hakkai, Gojyo. Who's the fifth?  
  
"Why are you five?" I yelled at Goku.  
  
"That's Sakura-chan," Goku replied while attacking me. "We're trying to find her sister."  
  
"Guess you don't have the time to fight us, then," I told her/him back. "Just give us the sutra and we're going, going gone!" I turned to look at the jeep. I looked more carefully at the blond girl. She had that look Sanzo normally had. I didn't know why, but suddenly I couldn't speak. She was really kire. . . Kougaiji baka! What are you thinking? That's your enemy!  
  
Being me off-guard, Goku managed to hit me and I was sent flying backwards. Lilin and Dokukakuji immediately ran to my aid.  
  
I was still staring at Sanzo. My god, I hate to say this, but in girl form she's stunning. Very stunning. Way more stunning than Yaone.  
  
"Daijobu, ni-chan?" Lilin asked.  
  
"Y-yeah," I replied, lost in another world. "Let's get out of here."  
  
"Nani?" Lilin screeched. "Nande?"  
  
"If Goku turns into his demon form again, we might get up hurt," I lied. The truth was, if I stared at Sanzo longer, I might totally lose control of myself.  
  
"OKAY!" Dokukakuji agreed, looking at me uneasily. I knew that my best friend could feel that I was lying, but he didn't now the reason why. But Lilin was so naïve, so she didn't suspect a thing. We returned back to the Houtou Castle.  
  
GOKU  
  
Kougaiji? Run away? I must be dreaming. I went back to the jeep, and realized at Sakura was staring at where Kougaiji had disappeared.  
  
"Doushite, Sakura-chan?" I asked politely.  
  
"Well, you must be travelling for a long time, ne," Sakura answered nervously. "For months. But . . . you only have a month and then you'll end up stay in that form, er, forever. How can we reach the West in this short time?"  
  
"You're right," Sanzo said worriedly. "We must hurry."  
  
"Even if we hurried, we might not reach it in a few weeks," Gojyo snapped. "We wouldn't be in this trouble if Sanzo never killed the demon."  
  
Oh no. Here we go again. Gojyo'll blame Sanzo, Sanzo'll retort back, Gojyo would yell and miraculously shut up after a gunpoint from Sanzo. Then he'll whine the rest of the day. We had this for two times already. And frankly, Gojyo already did the STRIKE ONE!  
  
"Shut up! It is so NOT my fault. The demon wouldn't even AGREE to return us to normal," Sanzo retorted, eyes dark. STRIKE TWO! Hakkai and I are already trying to find the space to hide as the clouds grew dark, and electricity was being to go through my two companions' foreheads.  
  
"Oh yeah? IT IS SO YOUR FAULT! I mean, if you just decided to avoid the demon. . . " STRIKE THREE! BOMBS ARE COMING! HIDE! Hakkai and I found shelter on the bottom of the jeep while Gojyo was cut short as Sanzo pointed his gun at his temple. He shut up, but he glared darkly at Sanzo.  
  
"Good," Sanzo said menacingly. "Come on, Hakkai, get on driving." Sanzo became pissed off again, and refused to talk to any of us again.  
  
"Do you do this everyday?" Sakura whispered to me.  
  
"Well, ever since this curse was brought upon us," I replied dryly. "It's already a habit."  
  
"Bad habit," Sakura drawled, and the two of us laughed, but very softly. Gojyo had begun muttering cuss words that were practically unintelligible. They couldn't be even found in the Unabridged Thesaurus! I glanced at Sakura again, and I noticed she kept fingering at the pendant of her necklace, and half heart. It looked very important to her.  
  
"What's that, Sakura-chan?" I asked curiously.  
  
Sakura smiled. "It's something that links me with my sister."  
  
"Oh, I see."  
  
Hakkai smiled nervously and began driving.  
  
"Maybe we'll go faster on a Hiryu," Sakura suggested.  
  
Hakuryu whined angrily.  
  
"Sorry, Hakuryu," Hakkai apologized cheerfully. "But you do have a point, Sakura-san."  
  
"Well, she obviously has more brains than a half-breed there," Sanzo said tightly. "Well, she is a youkai. Not a hanyou."  
  
Gojyo turned red. "Shut up, ningen," Gojyo said menacingly. "It is your big, fat fault we're here."  
  
"NANI?" Okay, it's only been five minutes and now they're repeating it over again.  
  
"Well, Sanzo, what should we do?" I asked quickly, changing the subject. I was happy with this female brain. It processed things quickly and I understood fast the situation. I mean, I'm dying of starvation, but if I grumble, nothing will happen.  
  
"Get a Hiryu, of course," Sanzo replied. "Where can we get one?"  
  
" I hear there's a Hiryu breeder somewhere near Taikyu Village," Sakura responded. "Hakkai, are we anywhere near that village?"  
  
"In a day," Hakkai said, smiling. "We'll reach it today by nightfall. We can take an inn there, too."  
  
"I'm glad we can solve this problem quickly," Gojyo said, sighing.  
  
"Definitely," we all agreed.  
  
YAONE  
  
I had almost finished the potion. I had already collected Yuki's hair, bat wings, a Youkai's ear, an index finger, some blue powder, and a cupful of dandelion's petals. All I needed was something that something that Yuki valued that both of them owned.  
  
I ran to her cell. Yuki was sitting on her bed, looking out the window. She looked very sad.  
  
"Yuki-san," I whispered, not wanting to be discovered. Her eyes lit up at my voice. She immediately smiled and suddenly replied.  
  
"What is it, Yaone?" she asked.  
  
"I need something that you value that both of you have," I requested. "A pendant, perhaps? Or a friendship bracelet?"  
  
"Some that I value that we both have," Yuki repeated, thinking hard. Then she smiled. She slipped her hands to her pocket.  
  
"It's our lucky necklace," she said. It was a beautiful necklace with a small heart-shaped half-pendant. It was sort of cut in the middle.  
  
"Where's the half?" I questioned.  
  
"With my sister," Yuki said, smiling. "We always wear it. Please don't lose it."  
  
"I won't," I promised. I smiled. "It's very important. I can never lose it." Then I bade goodbye than ran to my room again, and began my potion. 


	5. Chapter V: How to Get a Hiryu

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter V: How to Get A Hiryu  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dokukakuji  
  
Something is wrong. Very wrong. Kou had locked up in his room, refusing to talk to anyone. He had that really strange look. Even naïve Lilin noticed something, and that was saying something. Yaone had also locked up in her room, and she only talks to the new captive.  
  
I knocked at Kou's door. "Kou? You there?"  
  
"Hm." Kougaiji responded lightly.  
  
"Ni-chan?" Lilin popped up, next to me. I got scared and fell down.  
  
"Lilin!" I whispered angrily.  
  
"Huh? Why are you on the floor, Doku?" she asked so innocently I couldn't help but groan.  
  
"Ne, ne, Doku, what's wrong with ni-chan?" she asked urgently, eyes curious. He's been like this since the Sanzo-ikkou. You know, Baldie Sanzo looks cuter when girl."  
  
I forced a laugh. Sanzo? Cute? I made a mental note to mention that to Kou, so we could have a laugh, then returned to focus to the problem. "Lilin, I don't know either. Maybe he remembered someone."  
  
"Have you seen Yaone?" Lilin asked. "She hasn't been looking after me for a few days. I've been going back and forth to Togenkyo but no one's stopping me. I've lost the taste for it."  
  
OH. GOOD.  
  
"Lilin, go back to your room. I'll talk to Kou and Yaone."  
  
"No, I want to talk to ni-chan too!"  
  
SANZO  
  
"Is this the village?" I asked Sakura.  
  
"Hai."  
  
It was dark when we arrived in Taikyu village, but I was thankful. It was getting worse being a girl, and it was sweating hot! I would have loved to cut the long hair, but Sakura insisted to keep it like that. Goku, on the other hand looked at home with his long hair, considering the fact he used to have long hair before. Gojyo barely cares, either, and Hakkai, well, let's just say Hakkai's going crazy by doing some really crazy hairstyles on his hair.  
  
"We'd better take an inn," Hakkai said, as Hakuryu returned to dragon form and we walked toward the village.  
  
"Hey look at the babes!" yelled a guy as we walked passed. I gave him the death glare, but no avail. More guys just came.  
  
"Get rid of them!" Gojyo whispered to Sakura.  
  
"Minna-san, this are my friends!" Sakura yelled. "Please don't bother us!"  
  
"Sakura?!" Now women came to Sakura greeting her.  
  
We all sighed. Soon the crowds cleared up, and we headed for the inn.  
  
"How come there's a Hiryu breeder here, Sakura-chan?" Goku asked.  
  
"Goku-san, not all Hiryu breeders are Youkai," Sakura said, smiling at Goku. "You see, some humans take fancy of animals, especially Hiryus. I met Shinguji here. . . "  
  
"Shinguji?" Gojyo asked.  
  
"Hai. Shinguji's a good friend of mine. I used to go here with my nee-san and we'd be welcomed by people, you see, nee-san healed people. Now since demons are pursuing us left and right, we didn't have the time. Shinguji lives somewhere there," Sakura said, pointing.  
  
"I see," Hakkai said.  
  
"There's an inn," Gojyo said. We went to an inn. The innkeeper was shocked to see Sakura.  
  
"Sakura-san!" He greeted. "You haven't visited in a while."  
  
"Yeah, Danny," she said, smiling. "You guys, this is Danny."  
  
"I'll give you free rooms," Danny offered. "You have quite a group, come on, I'll get you some food. On the house." His eyes twinkled deviously. "And these young beautiful women are quite a catch."  
  
"Arigatou!" Hakkai and Goku said, smiling. They obviously didn't mind the last sentence. I just sighed.  
  
"I suppose, we could eat," I said grudgingly. My companions dragged me to the diner then we all ate.  
  
"We'll visit Shinguji tomorrow." Sakura yawned after that.  
  
We went to our rooms. Luckily, the innkeeper had given us each separate rooms. I was pissed off at staying with dear friends.  
  
THE NEXT DAY. . .  
  
"SAKURA!" Shinguji yelled. "I missed you a lot." He looked at us. Then he grabbed my hand. "Yuki-sama, my dearest, have you decided to marry me?"  
  
My friends began giggling. I tore my hand away from the guy. "I'M NOT YUKI!" It was what I kept repeating. Everyone thought I was Yuki it was hilarious, especially for my dear companions, most of all Gojyo. Hmph.  
  
"Ah. . . " Shinguji said, embarrassed. "Well, then, I suppose you need a Hiryu?"  
  
"Yes, Shinguji." I caught Sakura's sigh. Then I saw it. Sakura likes Shinguji but Shinguji likes Yuki. I wonder how Yuki felt.  
  
"Well, I can give you each private Hiryus," Shinguji said, and he moved behind Gojyo.  
  
"YOU HENTAI!" Gojyo screamed, and we realized that Shinguji's hand had come spying onto Gojyo's, er, behind. And naturally Gojyo was informed.  
  
We collapsed into laughter.  
  
"This isn't funny!" Gojyo screeched, then he slapped Shinguji. "PERVERT!" Gojyo blushed.  
  
"But my dear beauty," Shinguji began.  
  
"Get away from me, you, you, you hentai!"  
  
"Well, here are your Hiryus," Shinguji said sadly. "Dears, come back here!"  
  
"As if," Gojyo muttered.  
  
"Now, Gojyo-san," Sakura said softly. "I'm sure Shinguji didn't mean anything."  
  
Gojyo glared at Shinguji and we mounted on our Hiryus.  
  
"Sayanora, kawaii onnanoko! (Goodbye, cute girls!)" Shinguji said cheerfully.  
  
YUKI  
  
I waited patiently. I wanted to see my sister so much. Hopefully Yaone had that potion going, because even the most patient person can't wait for three days without food or water. I pretty much had very good resistance.  
  
"Yuki!" came a soft whisper. I jumped and I saw Yaone smiling.  
  
"Doushite, Yaone?" I asked curiously. She held a small vial, smiling widely.  
  
"I have it!" Yaone squealed. "Come on, Yuki-chan. Drink it."  
  
I drank it. I made me all warm and sweet, and soon, a big vision appeared. I saw my sister on Hiryus, riding toward the castle. I gasped.  
  
"You must tell her to stay away, Yaone," I said frantically. "Gyokumen Kyushu will hurt her if she finds her on the way!"  
  
Yaone looked closer at the vision. "Yuki, she's with the Sanzo-ikkou!"  
  
I gasped again. "The Sanzo-ikkou? Why would they be with my sister?"  
  
"Who knows?" Yaone said. "Don't worry, Yuki, I'll find a way to stop her!" 


	6. Chapter VI: To The Castle!

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter VI: To The Castle!  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
SAKURA  
  
I was very happy. I was going to be reunited with my sister. As our Hiryus continued upwards, I soon saw a faint castle top.  
  
"Looks like we're almost there," Hakkai said, smiling. "Soon we'll meet Sakura-san's sister and we'll be back to normal, minna-san."  
  
"Thank god," Gojyo muttered. He still looked annoyed at what Shinguji did to him. I sighed as I remembered Shinguji. I liked him a bit, (okay, who was I kidding? I like him A LOT!) but he was always looking at other girls. And he loved my sister. I was always jealous of Yuki, because she was always more beautiful. But when I lost her, I missed her more than anything. I realized that she was very important to me.  
  
"Daijobu, Sakura-chan?" Goku asked curiously.  
  
I smiled at him. "Betsuni, Goku-kun," I replied, hiding my eagerness to see Yuki.  
  
"I think we'll go through some Youkai first," Sanzo said pessimistically. I couldn't help but smile. The first time I saw Sanzo, I felt as if all my troubles were gone, my sister was back! But then it wasn't her. But having Sanzo around made me feel better. It made me feel as if there was a temporary Yuki with me. I had felt scared when I realized that they were leaving. Sanzo had filled my empty feeling of Yuki, and if he left, I was alone again.  
  
"Why are you smiling?" Sanzo asked suspiciously. I realized that I had been smiling weirdly. I almost laughed.  
  
"Isn't that Yaone?" Gojyo asked, and we all turned to look. We all saw a faint of purple hair carrying her weapon.  
  
"Is she Gyokumen-Kyushu's?" I asked.  
  
"Hai," Hakkai replied. "But she's really very nice, Sakura-chan."  
  
"She's probably here to capture me, then," I growled. Then I stood up. "I'll take care of her, please."  
  
"Sakura-chan?" Goku asked, shocked. "She's pretty strong."  
  
"I don't care," I snarled. Then I jumped in front of the Hiryu. "Hey, Yaone!" I yelled. "I'm challenging you."  
  
Yaone stopped in front of me. "Sakura, get out of here!" she yelled frantically.  
  
We all froze. What the heck?  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Your sister, Yuki, is captured right now. You need to be kept safe. Onegai, go away NOW! Get out of here!"  
  
"I'm not going without seeing my sister!" I yelled.  
  
"PLEASE! She's fine! Go away before Gyokumen-Kyushu gets here!" Yaone yelled desperately.  
  
"We're seeing Yuki, and you can't stop us," came Sanzo's icy voice. "I believe you realize this is a curse that had brought upon us. And we need Yuki to come out with the counter curse."  
  
"STAY OUT OF THIS, SANZO!" Yaone screamed.  
  
KOUGAIJI  
  
I froze when I heard someone yell Sanzo. Was he/she here? My heart started beating faster than usual. Shit, why?  
  
I immediately got out of the castle and realized no one had found out the Sanzo-ikkou had gotten here. Breathing in relief, I jumped to the top of the castle. I could make out five Hiryus and Yaone floating. I cursed myself. What if Yaone hurt Sanzo?  
  
I quickly floated myself and followed them.  
  
The moment I got there, I saw Yaone attack Sanzo. Sanzo was able to evade it faster than usual, and sent her gun to Yaone.  
  
Yaone flew up, and she started screaming again.  
  
"SAKURA! Please, leave now!" she cried, her eyes welling up. I saw the girl that the Sanzo-ikkou was with move closer to her. Her eyes softened, and then she asked softly,  
  
"How come you know my name?"  
  
Yaone looked up, her eyes still red. "Sakura, your sister is in a dungeon cell right now, and she asked me to tell you to stay away. She doesn't want you captured. Please. Go back."  
  
"I can't!" The girl yelled stubbornly.  
  
"So she's captured, huh?" Goku said, grinning. "So we'll just go free her!"  
  
"We won't go back until Sakura's home with her sister," Hakkai added.  
  
"Definitely won't," Gojyo muttered.  
  
Sanzo grabbed Yaone's arm, and I growled furiously. How dare Yaone let Sanzo hold her! Sanzo was so sacred, and that lowly Yaone!  
  
"Where is her cell?" Sanzo whispered icily.  
  
YAONE  
  
I looked at Sanzo at the eye. He . . . He was going to save Yuki?  
  
I smiled at him, and replied, "Fifth cell to the left, on the ground floor. Hurry, I think today's the day Gyokumen-Kyushu's planning to kill her."  
  
"WHAT?!" Sakura yelled. "That witch! Come on you guys!"  
  
"I'll guide you," I told them quickly. "The sooner you save her, the better."  
  
They all climbed on their Hiryus again and we went closer to the castle. However, when we reached it and they jumped on the roof, I realized someone was waiting for us. Kougaiji.  
  
"Letting the enemy in, Yaone?" Kougaiji asked softly, eyes a bit dark. "Well. . . I won't punish you now, but I can't let them in without a fight."  
  
Sanzo got off his Hiryu and glared at him. "Bring it on."  
  
"No Sanzo!" Goku whined. "I'm his enemy." He followed Sanzo's lead.  
  
"No way! The sooner we get rid of him the better. We'll get to our normal selves, so. . . " Gojyo glared at Kougaiji.  
  
"I can't let you guys have all the fun," Hakkai said, smiling. Then he turned serious. "Four on one, can you take us?"  
  
"Are you forgetting me?" Sakura suddenly said.  
  
I turned to look at her. "Demo Sakura. . . " I began.  
  
"I can take him, Yaone," she interrupted, smiling. Then she turned to Kougaiji. "Let's go!" 


	7. Chapter VII: Yuki!

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter VII: Yuki!  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
HAKKAI  
  
We all surrounded Kougaiji. Yaone watched us, alert for any trouble.  
  
"Well, well," Kougaiji sneered. "I'm not telling the fox about this, and if you win, I free your prisoner. If you lose. . . you give me Sanzo."  
  
"WHAT!?" Sanzo screeched, looking deadly.  
  
We all raised our eyebrows.  
  
"Take her," Gojyo said, smiling. "Anytime, Kougaiji."  
  
Sanzo glared at him a sent a bullet on his way. Gojyo evaded it, and then we returned to fighting Kougaiji.  
  
"We won't lose," Sakura said confidently. "We won't lose Sanzo!" Then she attacked Kougaiji, an all-out attack.  
  
Kougaiji disappeared just before Sakura could claw him. "Too slow!" He yelled, then sent a fire at Sakura. Sakura's eyes widened, and then I went to protect her. Sakura opened her eyes to realize there was an energy shield protecting her.  
  
"Arigatou," she said breathlessly.  
  
"You're welcome," I said, then I let the shield go out. Goku had now called his nyoibou and was attacking Kougaiji. Gojyo was at his side. Sanzo was simply waiting for the two to slow Kougaiji's attack, so he can purify the demon.  
  
"Don't leave us out!" I called cheerfully, then grabbed Sakura. "Stay with Yaone and get your sister. We'll distract Kougaiji."  
  
"Demo," Sakura started.  
  
"GO!" I said sternly. Sakura nodded and whispered something Yaone. Yaone nodded and they jumped down to a window, unnoticed.  
  
Kougaiji gritted his teeth and glared at Goku. He punched Goku, and just when Goku hit the ground, Gojyo attacked Kougaiji and he went flying to the other side of the castle top.  
  
"Let's leave him there," Sanzo ordered. "Come on, let's follow Sakura and Yaone. The sooner we find Yuki, the sooner we get out of these bodies."  
  
YAONE  
  
We were travelling as quickly as possible. When we encountered demons, we usually evaded them. However, when we were really supposed to fight, I let Sakura do it. I didn't want the others to think I was betraying them.  
  
"Hurry up," I whispered frantically to Sakura. She was being overpowered by the Youkai. But I couldn't come out, I would get in trouble.  
  
"I'm trying," Sakura answered back, hitting a horde of Youkai with her wind attack. I was surprised at how good she was at magic and how she controlled her power. She had good Youki. If she was properly trained, she would be equal to Kougaiji's power.  
  
Another demon sent a knife toward her, and Sakura evaded it. I groaned. We were bound here. If Gyokumen-Kyushu caught us, we were dead.  
  
The Youkai started closing in. The two of us sank to the floor, helpless. I closed my eyes, dreading that they would find me and accuse my as traitor.  
  
Then I heard a gun firing. I opened my eyes and realized that Sanzo had saved us. Gojyo and Goku took care of the demons. Hakkai immediately ran to our aid.  
  
"Daijoubu?" He asked worriedly.  
  
"Hai," I replied, taking deep breaths.  
  
"We were goners," Sakura explained to him. "I'm glad you came along."  
  
Hakkai nodded. Sanzo came to us, and helped Sakura and me up. "Where's the dungeon?"  
  
"Just down these stairs," I said, motioning to the stairs near us.  
  
I peered through Sanzo and realized Goku and Gojyo had taken care of the demons already. We all ran down the stairs. I ran to Yuki's cell. I saw her there, moping.  
  
"YUKI!" I called.  
  
Yuki turned, her eyes teary. She stood up, and then. . .  
  
"ONE-SAN!" Sakura yelled, then she broke the cell door. I was shocked. The cell door was supposed to be unbreakable.  
  
They hugged. "I missed you," Yuki sobbed, hugging Sakura.  
  
"We'd better get out of here, now," Sanzo said, tightly. Yuki turned to look at her and gasped.  
  
"You look a lot like me," Yuki said breathlessly.  
  
"Well, that's not his real form," Gojyo put in. "We got in a stupid curse, and can you please put a countercurse on us?"  
  
"Of course!" Yuki replied. "You helped my sister. I can't thank you enough!"  
  
"Let's get out of here!" Sanzo said again.  
  
Yuki turned to me. "Thank you, Yaone-chan."  
  
We hugged each other. "Stay safe," I told her. I turned to the Sanzo-ikkou. "Get out fast so you won't have to deal with Youkai."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well, one or two more chapters and this story is over! Thank you for all those who R&R. Would you guys like a sequel or something? 


	8. Chapter VIII: Okay, how hard is it to fi...

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter VIII: Okay, how hard is it to find ingredients?  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
SANZO  
  
We were now back at Sakura and Yuki's house, waiting for the potion to be finished. Yuki had predicted it might take a few weeks to finish it, and we only had three weeks left, or we were women forever. And that was crap. So now we were waiting for Yuki to tell us the ingredients so we could find it quickly.  
  
"Okay. Let's see. We need four trilen herbs, a cupful of roses' thorns, two mermaids tails, bat wings, lizard tongues, and a snake's scales," Sakura told us after Yuki had finished consulting her book.  
  
"And also some spices and salts that we have," Yuki added. "We also need a bit of flamins. About a bag."  
  
"What are those?" Goku asked.  
  
"It's a red wildflower that grows somewhere near our forest," Yuki told him. "So, Sanzo I suggest, since you're the only human here, you fetch the flamins, the trilen herbs, and the roses' thorns as they can be found just here."  
  
"I'll take care of the mermaids' tails," Sakura said. "I know where to find them. Gojyo, you get the bat wings. There's a bat cave about two miles from here. Hakkai, fetch the lizard tongues, will you? And, snakes' scales for our little Goku," she finished fondly, rubbing Goku's hair.  
  
"Okay!" We all agreed.  
  
"I'll have all the spices and salts ready when you come back," Yuki promised. Then she each gave us a pouch bag. "Hurry!"  
  
We all got out of the house. Sakura pointed to Gojyo where the bat cave was. Then she told Goku that there was a desert about ten miles from the forest, and there were bound to be snakes there. She and Hakkai would go to a nearby lake where mermaids and large lizards lived.  
  
"MATTE!" Yuki's voice came in the air. We all turned, except for Goku, who had dashed away for the desert.  
  
"Nande, onee-san?" Sakura asked concernedly.  
  
"We've run out of unicorn hair. There's a unicorn somewhere where you're going, Sakura, Hakkai. Go get some, okay?" Yuki asked breathlessly.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Gojyo continued his way to the bat cave, and soon disappeared from view. Sakura and Hakkai headed north of the forest. I decided to go west.  
  
Soon I saw a reddish wildflower. Deciding it was the flamins, I took a bunch, then, suddenly. . .  
  
"AAAHHH!" I screamed. The flower had burned! I realized that was why they called it flamins. From flame.  
  
"So how do I get it?" I muttered.  
  
"Need help?" I heard a rather familiar voice. I spun around, but saw no one.  
  
"Who are you?" I hissed.  
  
"You can hold it by your bag. It won't burn," the voice said again. I glared at the trees, then collected the flamins with the bag. Surprisingly, it didn't burn. After I collected it, I spoke to him again.  
  
"I won't thank you."  
  
"I didn't ask for it."  
  
I left that place and wandered along. I saw the trilen herbs and fetched four of them. Soon I had gotten in the place where roses grow. There were thorns in every one, and I took the cup and started collecting thorns. The moment I finished picking them, I pricked myself.  
  
"OUCH!" I squealed, and I heard rustling in the trees, then a startled gasp.  
  
"Those roses are poisonous!" he exclaimed, and then he jumped off the tree.  
  
My eyes widened. It was Kougaiji.  
  
My mind started swirling around. Why was he helping me? Was he out to kidnap Yuki again? Did he think I was Yuki (since we did have resemblance, though I hate to admit it) and was going to take me?  
  
But he didn't. He sat down beside me and looked at my finger. It was bleeding. I realized that the blood was turning slightly dark. When Kougaiji took hold of my arm, I recoiled slightly, then blushed. I was wondering why he was getting nice to me all of the sudden when he suddenly sucked the blood from my finger.  
  
I was surprised, but it felt good nonetheless. I was blushing all the while Kougaiji sucked the blood from me.  
  
"Aren't you going to get poisoned?" I asked in a sort of worried tone.  
  
Kougaiji smiled at me. "It doesn't affect me. As it won't affect Hakkai and Goku."  
  
I realized he was talking about their demonic powers.  
  
"You should be more careful, you know," he told me, then helped me up.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I decided to make the story longer. And add some Kougaiji/Sanzo wink, wink! It's fun to add a bit of romance in every story once in a while. Of course, if you don't like it, I could always take it off.  
  
R&R!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	9. Chapter IX: TOO LONG TITLE TO FIT!

WHAT THE?  
  
Chapter IX: Mermaids, Bats, Lizards, Snakes, Unicorns  
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!  
  
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
GOJYO  
  
I was walking in a bat cave. Great. As I ventured to the end of the cave, I realized there were large bats. Very LARGE bats.  
  
About as big as dogs, and all of them were sleeping. I turned green.  
  
"I'm supposed to get bat WINGS!?" I muttered, feeling nauseous. Immediately I took out my weapon and. . .  
  
SLASH!  
  
I heard a bat cry in pain. Then it disappeared. There were two wings on the floor, still filled with blood. I felt disgusted. I picked up the two wings when. . .  
  
KYAAA!!!!  
  
All the bats woke up, and started attacking me! I started attacking the bats but they were really big. One of them pulled my hair.  
  
I screamed. "NOW IT'S PERSONAL!" I screeched, proceeded in a war cry, then started slashing violently all the bats.  
  
The bats screeched and screeched, practically ruining my eardrums. They pecked on me, and I kept slashing.  
  
After a very hard battle, there lay about 20+ wings. I recoiled at the sight, picked the wings in two hands. The bat wings were very big, and I could hardly see. I groaned, then started to walk back to the Yuki's house.  
  
After about a mile of travelling, I reached a small lake, there I dumped the wings to get rid of the blood. After I soaked them all and took the wings out, I smiled nervously. The water had turned red, as if someone had their menstruation at the lake. I quickly took the wings and ran back to the house, my face burning.  
  
Sanzo was there, blushing. Yuki smiled at my return.  
  
"Good, we only need Goku, Hakkai and my sister to come back and then you guys'll be back to normal," she said cheerfully.  
  
"Thank god," I muttered. I stared at Sanzo. He was blushing, and smiling at the same time. Wonder why? I thought wickedly.  
  
GOKU  
  
I'm supposed to go look for snakes. I mean, snakes? So, as I walked slowly, hoping to spot a snake's nest or maybe a few large eggs.  
  
I spied on a slithering thing on the ground and picked it up. It had scales. "Must be a snake," I said to myself, when the snake bit me.  
  
"OUUCCCCCCCHHHHH!" I screamed, grasping my hand. I glared at the snake. "You're numbered!" Immediately I took the nyoibou and pressed it down on the snake. The insides of the snake seemed to come out of its' mouth.  
  
"Yuck," I said, disgusted at the snake. When I was sure it was dead, I skinned it scales using the knife Yuki gave me.  
  
As soon as I picked the scales, I returned to Yuki's cottage. Halfway on the road, I realized that half an army of snakes were following me.  
  
"Oh, man," I muttered, looking at a dozen snakes hissing at me.  
  
Then. . .  
  
ATTACK!  
  
The snakes attacked me all at the same time, and started tearing my hair off. I started jumping around, screaming.  
  
"Get off! Get off!" I squealed, getting them off my hair and squashing them. One of the snakes insides I squashed, went directly on my face. EEEWWWW!  
  
I finished the rest of the snakes, grabbed the scales, looked for the nearest water form I could find and dropped my head in it. After I dried myself, I looked at myself, and my hair looked like it was cut unevenly. I bit my lip, hoping it wouldn't affect my boy form.  
  
I went back to Yuki's house to find Sanzo and Gojyo there already. Sanzo was reading the newspaper, he had his glasses on again, and Gojyo was combing his hair, it looked like he had also been attacked by the bats, and his hair looked horrible. I winced.  
  
"What happened to you?" Yuki asked worriedly when she spotted my ruined hair.  
  
"I got attacked by snakes, the insides hit me and I think I need a complete bath," I muttered, touching my snake-saliva hair. "Where's the bathroom, Yuki-san, I need a bath."  
  
Yuki giggled. "Up the stairs, left."  
  
Gojyo was laughing at me. "At least I only need to comb my hair," he said. "Our poor little saru got attacked by snakes! Wish it was monkeys, don't you?"  
  
I glared at him. "Pass the comb." Then I added, "I can't believe BATS can take you out."  
  
Gojyo threw me the comb, fuming. "FYI, those bats were large!"  
  
"I just hope what happened to you won't affect your other form," Sanzo snorted, stopping our brotherly/sisterly fight.  
  
I walked out to the bathroom.  
  
SAKURA  
  
"We'll go for the lizards' tails and the unicorn hair first, okay?" I asked Hakkai.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause mermaids aren't exactly easy to catch. I think two tails is enough. Don't worry, the lizards aren't big like the bats."  
  
"You mean the bats Gojyo was supposed to get were big?" Hakkai asked.  
  
"Yeah," I replied.  
  
Hakkai laughed. "Poor Gojyo."  
  
I giggled, thinking of how Gojyo would get the bat wings. Hakkai joined in.  
  
Then I spotted a whole herd of lizards.  
  
I put my fingers to my lips, then cut of their tails. The lizards yelped in surprise, then scampered away. I handed the lizards to Hakkai, smiling.  
  
Hakkai took them, then placed them in the bag he brought. "So, time for the unicorns?" he asked, smiling playfully.  
  
"Indeed," I replied. "They like to stay in the deep parts of the forest, so we have to go there. In the middle of the forest there's a lake; mermaids stay there. Let's go."  
  
We walked to the forest, taking a look at our surroundings to ensure a safe return. Hakkai suddenly gasped.  
  
"Sakura-san, I think I saw a flash of white over there!" He said, pointing to the middle of the forest.  
  
"I suppose it's time for their drink," I told him. "They drink sometime in the middle of the day, the mermaids feed them. Come on, let's hurry."  
  
We both ran to the middle of the forest, and spotted a unicorn, drinking. Two mermaids were bathing him, as he was sunk on the lake up his waist.  
  
"I'll take care of this," I told Hakkai. I began to mutter an enchantment. The moment I finished, I turned to Hakkai. He was unaffected by the spell; it only worked at magical creatures. We looked at the lake again, the unicorn and mermaids had fallen asleep.  
  
Hakkai and I drew near cautiously. "It'll only last for a few minutes," I told him. I plucked some hair from the unicorn. "Here, put this in the bag."  
  
Hakkai followed, then produced a small pocketknife. "Here you go, Sakura." I smiled at him, then cut of the two tails.  
  
"Let's get out of here," Hakkai said the moment I finished. The mermaids' tails re-grew, and we placed the tails in the bag. We both ran out, and soon reached the house.  
  
Panting, we opened the door.  
  
"Finally!" Yuki exclaimed, looking at us. "Everyone's here already."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
For the last time, do you guys want KougaijiXSanzo or what?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	10. Chapter X: Countercurse The end or is it...

WHAT THE?

Chapter X: Countercurse (The end… or is it?)

Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't….really!

Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice! 

**__**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

YUKI

I smiled at the four companions. "Shall we?"

The four nodded.

Sakura smiled at them, then crossed her fingers. I handed the four of them each a small vial.

"Drink it," I said, then closed my eyes, not wanting to see the outcome.

The four of them gulped, the drank the potion eyes closed.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" The four screamed, clutching their throats. They all collapsed on the floor, rolling violently. I smiled nervously. What did I do?!

"Onee-san, what happened?" Sakura asked, looking panicked.

"How should I know?" I cried. I shrugged. "Well, if they die, we can always dump 'em on the lake." I giggled despite myself.

Sakura glared at me. "This is no time for jokes!"

I rolled my eyes. "I know, Sakura, I know. I was just joking, sheesh!"

Suddenly a brilliant light shone upon us.

"AAAAHHHH!" We both yelled.

When we were able to see again, we saw four men wearing women's clothing on the floor. 

"Yes!" We cried. "It worked!"

The four woke up.

"We're back to normal," Goku cried, looking happy. 

"Thank you, Sakura, Yuki," Hakkai said, hugging us.

Gojyo wrinkled his nose. "Just on time, thankfully. I had enough of being a girl!"

"You said it!" Sanzo declared, looking at his clothes. He growled. Then he turned to us. "If you don't mind, I'd like to go and change."

I nodded.

The four ran up to the bathroom. When they returned, they were back to their old clothes.

"I suppose it's back on the road again for us," Hakkai said softly. He looked at us with longing. "You two were great companions, Yuki-san, Sakura-san."

We both blushed.

"Yeah, you guys cooked great!" Goku jumped in.

Gojyo ruffled his hair. "Now, saru, I guess your brains back to it's pea size again!"

"Hmph!" Goku said, and he and Gojyo began fighting again.

"We better go now," Sanzo told to us abruptly. "I, for one, plan to forget everything that happened in this little adventure. We're going."

"Can't we stay up till dinner?" Goku whined.

"Sanzo, why don't we?" Hakkai agreed.

"Yeah, **Sanzo-sama**," Gojyo teased, once again trying Sanzo's patience. Sanzo's veins began to pop, and he began hitting Gojyo. 

Sakura and I laughed.

"I thank you for returning me safely home," I told them. "I hope we'll meet again… this is a very wonderful adventure for me."

"Thank _you _for returning us back to normal," Hakkai said. 

"Hey, before you go, I'll cook something!" Sakura suggested.

"Yeah!" Goku cried. "I want fish, beef, pork chop, dumplings, buns… "

"Goku!" The three other men groaned.

The two of us laughed again.

**__**

~*~*~*~*~*~

I know this is a really quick ending… but it's not over yet, peoples! If you guys feel like continuing the KougaijiXSanzo (though I have to decide if it's yaoi or not) or simply continuing the story, tell me! I have plans for a sequeal already!

**__**

~*~*~*~*~*~


	11. Chapter XI: To be Continued Side Effect...

WHAT THE?

Chapter X: To be Continued – Side Effects

Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't….really!

Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice! 

**__**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

SANZO

"Oi, Sanzo, I have a question," Gojyo asked thoughtfully. "When I got back at Yuki's house after getting those stupid bat wings, you looked a little flustered." He grinned sneakily. "Anything happened?"

I blushed. At that the three of them stared at me.

"I knew it! Something happened!" Gojyo gloated.

"Shut up, baka!" I said, my cheeks reddening.

"So, what did happen, Sanzo?" Goku asked, looking curious. "Come on, don't keep secrets!"

I ignored them. "_Nothing_!"

"Are you sure?"

"YES!"

"Now, now, let's not get the best of Sanzo's temper," Hakkai said, making peace.

"Yeah, or I might just _shoot_ you," I said, my eyes looking _very _dangerous.

"Let's back off," Gojyo said. Then, "for now."

Fuming, I started shooting him.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Gojyo yelled as one of the bullets almost grazed his face. "Are you nuts?"

"Wow, Sanzo, that was great!" Goku complimented. "It's as if you almost hit him!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked viciously. "I missed."

Hakkai laughed at that. Goku looked weirded out, as he probably didn't understand me, and Gojyo looked terrified to hell.

"Are you trying to kill me?!"

"Are you trying to try my patience?" I imitated.

"Wow, Sanzo seems changed after the whole girl thing," Goku observed.

"You're observing things!" Hakkai and Gojyo said in unison.

"So?" Goku asked, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"You're Goku! You do **not **observe!" Gojyo cried.

"So this curse did have side effects," Hakkai said, not looking very serious. "I wonder what they are."

"Hopefully, they're for the better," Gojyo grumbled. "I don't think I can take a smart Goku."

"He's still a stupid saru, but he does seem smarter than usual," I observed. "However, you're still the 'hara hetta' saru we all know."

"And love,? Gojyo added, and Goku started picking a fight with him.

"So what do we do, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

"I don't know. Probably because we let the whole girl thing last so long, it probably stuck."

"So, are we going back to Yuki and Sakura?"

"Uh-huh." I shook my head. "We let them have much trouble. We should try to get back to being guys, and soon the whole thing will wear off."

"Are you sure?" Goku asked doubtfully.

"I don't know for sure, Goku, I'm just thinking of a solution."

****

~*~*~*~*~*~

Well, here's your sequel! I'm not sure if I can continue this long, but hopefully I can finish this properly.

**__**

~*~*~*~*~*~


End file.
